Break the silence. Shame keeps a lot of people from Ņfessing upÓ about their fraudulent feelings. Knowing thereÕs a name for these feelings and that you are not alone can be tremendously freeing.
Separate feelings from fact. There are times youÕll feel stupid. It happens to everyone from time to time. Realize that just because you may feel stupid, doesnÕt mean you are.
Recognize when you should feel fraudulent. If youÕre one of the first or the few women or minorities in your field or work place itÕs only natural youÕd sometimes feel like you donÕt totally fit in. Instead of taking your self-doubt as a sign of your ineptness, recognize that it might be a normal response to being an outsider.
Accentuate the positive. Perfectionism can indicate a healthy drive to excel. The trick is to not obsess over everything being just so. Do a great job when it matters most. DonÕt persevere over routine tasks. Forgive yourself when the inevitable mistake happens.
Develop a new response to failure and mistake making. Henry Ford once said, "Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently." Instead of beating yourself up for being human for blowing the big project, do what professional athletes do and glean the learning value from the mistake and move on.
Right the rules. If youÕve been operating under misguided rules like, "I should always know the answer," or "Never ask for help" start asserting your rights. Recognize that you have just as much right as the next person to be wrong, have an off-day, or ask for assistance.
Develop a new script. Your script is that automatic mental tapes that starts playing in situations that trigger your Impostor feelings. When you start a new job or project for example, instead of thinking for example, "Wait till they find out I have no idea what IÕm doing," try thinking, "Everyone who starts something new feels off-base in the beginning. I may not know all the answers but IÕm smart enough to find them out."
Visualize success. Do what professional athletes do. Spend time beforehand picturing yourself making a successful presentation or calmly posing your question in class. It sure beats picturing impending disaster and will help with performance-related stress.
Reward yourself. Break the cycle of continually seeking ? and then dismissing ? validation outside of yourself by learning to pat yourself on the back.
Fake it Ōtil you make it. Now and then we all have to fly by the seat of our pants. Instead of considering "winging it" as proof of your ineptness learn to do what many high achievers do and view it as a skill. DonÕt wait until you feel confident to start putting yourself out there. Courage comes from taking risks. Change your behavior first and allow your confidence to build.
